Reflections of the Year

This year has certainly been one of exploration, and my blog shows this. It started out as a music blog, and evolved to one with little direction. I would like to say that it was a blog about the observation of people, but only because that is such a broad topic which can include about anything.
This blog has been difficult for me. Even now I face the same problems I have all year writing my blogs: Writers Block. Oh how it has plagued me. I literally spent hours in front of a blank blog post trying to think of something, anything to write about. Finally I resorted to pulling out my old journals and relaying stories I found humorous. I found I preferred telling these stories more than sharing my opinion on anything else. Maybe nobody cares about my random childhood stories, but they probably don't care about my opinions either, so I figured I'd do something I would enjoy more.

I love puppies. But I don't love blogging. I wish I was still as excited about blogging as I was at the beginning of the year, but unfortunately our relationship could not work out, and I'm glad to say goodbye to this dang blog. I am as terrible at blogging as I am at spelling (which is pretty bad).

It's pure chaos, but it's all pink chaos so it's okay

In February, during fashion week, Barbie's 50th anniversary was celebrated with a Barbie Fashion show. You just have to see some of these outfits, they're pretty hilarious. I think one of the best experiences would have to be a fashion designer, because you can slap pretty much anything on someone, and people will clap and say "Oh isn't that lovely."



This is one of the outfits that best represents Barbie in my opinion. This is what all my Barbies' hair looked like when I was a kid after they were thrown in a bucket for awhile, although they were considerably more bald.



I don't think Barbie would wear this outfit, or make that face, Barbie smiles...all the time.



This is so Barbie!

My favorite part of the whole fashion show was the future Barbie look. This is because the designers decided to put a bunch of random plastic on the clothing. I guess in the future Barbie doesn't like cotton or polyester anymore!

My actual favorite part was when they let all the little girl walk down the catwalk with the big Barbies, I know if I was still a little girl that be the most exciting thing of my life!

So I was searching through some random blogs...

I came across a blog that was in Filipino, of course, I couldn't read it, but Google kindly asked me if I would like it translated, I reply, "Why, yes, I would love this translated, thank you very much." So I click the translate button, and I began reading the article, it's about spring. I can understand mostly what she's saying, but Google missed a few words, so I was a little lost, a few sentences in I look at the title of the blog, and it translates to English Cow. I'm not really sure what that's supposed to mean, but it made me chuckle, so I thought I'd share it.

Apparently there are a lot of Filipino bloggers on blogspot, because I found a blog full of filipino poetry entitled Probably. Once again Google doesn't translate very well, but poetry doesn't have to make sense, I read something about blue apples, and I'm okay with that.

I also found a very colorful blog called The (After) Life of the Party. I wish I could blog like this. I mean not like the swearing, but I wish I was funny, or I could just think of something worthwhile to blog about. People always tell me that I'm a creative person, and I might have believed them, if it wasn't that every time I try to blog I come up completely blank.

My Life as a Janitor

Before I had my extremely glamorous job as an intern, I worked as janitor. We all have to start somewhere. By myself, I comprised the entire cleaning staff for a Tool and Die shop. It was a large job considering the mess the large machinery makes (and the mess that 40 men make), but somehow I got it done. One day I decided to clean the walls and the floors of the larger bathroom (you would not believe the level of dirt and grease on those walls). It was one of those hot July days when it's so humid that your chest feels heavy, you know the kind. It was also a day when the shop air conditioning decided to stop working. Those big machines create a lot of heat, but it wasn't too terrible for me, because most of the time I was working in the direct path of the fan. So it's time for me to clean the bathroom, and I have some extra time, so I decide to scrub the walls and floors. So I drag a bucket full of soapy water, and a ladder (I'm really short). I begin to scrub, and about two strokes in, I realize that this is probably the hottest room in the whole building. Also the grease isn't coming off that easy, (how someone managed to get grease in the top corner of the room is a mystery to me), so i decide to put a little bleach in my soapy water. The grease came off a lot easier, but now the room, besides being hot, was filled with bleach fumes. That was probably not one of my smartest ideas, but the moral of the story kids, is get a good education.

Acquisitive: Excessively interested in acquiring money or material things.

This is a new word I learned today, and it got me thinking about my life. I thought I'd share this word with you, and maybe you'll think about your life. I guess humans in general are acquisitive, and it needs to stop. It takes a very strong human to be happy with what they already have, we are always trying to move up in our jobs and get higher education, which isn't a bad thing, but why are we doing it? Is it because we want more things, and more money? Probably, but that's not what it should be about, it should be about the love of knowledge, and being good at what you do. I know that you may read this and say "that's not me" or you will say "that is me" and not do anything about it.
 But I challenge you to stop worrying about the latest thing that apple is coming out with, stop worrying that your neighbor has a nicer car than you, and began to thing about making yourself truly happy. I'm sure you have some nieces and nephews, or younger cousins, or even children that would love to spend some time with you and brighten your day.
I challenge you to get rid of some things that really don't mean that much to you.
I challenge you to rededicate your life to something you love.

Mystery Seeker

This is the new version of Mystery Google. Check it out here. It's really quite interesting, you type in a search and the search engine returns the last persons search to you. Often people leave missions (usually MLIAers), they like to have fun things sent to e-mail addresses and send you out to do some random thing. I would not advise sharing personal information through Mystery Seeker, obviously, but I definitely encourage trying it.

One Mission I received: Search for a Ninja School in Google and enroll in one. Goodluck Comrade.
Unfortunately, Ninja's are to stealthy to have their school be listed on Google, so I could not complete this mission as requested.

Another search result I got was: i hate justin bieber SUCK ON THAT
No I would not like to suck on that, thanks for offering though. I don't understand why people hate Justin Bieber so much, he's not an evil person, and hasn't done anything worth hating, but whatever, it's your hate filled life.

I also got a search that said: I love you
Aww now isn't that sweet. I think Mystery seeker makes the world a better place!

I want to live in the 80's

Who wouldn't want to dress like this all the time! The eighties was a time when anything was exceptable. One day you can be wearing a pink tutu, and the next oversized unisex, one size fits all clothing.

Find more 80's trends here!

If you don't like super large clothing maybe some extra extra large earrings will float your boat.



But what makes the 80's truely awesome, is the rise of Micheal Jackson. 

Thriller was released in 1983. The music video was 14 minutes long. Jackson was known for wanting his music videos to be more like short movies. He is often credited with creating the modern day music video, because before Jackson it was typical to just stand and sing in a music video.

I remember the first time I watched Thriller. That was when I most wanted to go back to the eighties. I wanted to meet the young Micheal Jackson. It was also the scariest thing I'd ever seen, (I was in elementary school give me a break), I used to have friends over to watch it and scream.

The eighties also marked the rise of the Rubix cube. I still cannot solve one. But that only makes me hate the eighties a little. If you know how to solve a Rubix cube you can have hours of fun flaunting it in other people's faces and watching the jealousy in their eyes.

Possibly the best cartoon ever invented was popular in the eighties. Those little blue guys, that my grandpa always called smores. Yes the SMURFS. I enjoy this show even in my old age. Although I never understood why that evil old man and his cat had it in for the smurfs.

Besides being a wonderful example of friendship and sharing and all things good, the smurfs are also wonderful singers. I own one of there records, and it also helps me learn about sharing. With songs like "Silly Shy Smurf" and "The Clapping and Jumping Song" I can jam out all day to the wonderful smurf voices.

To close my extremely random blog post I'd like to show you the best thing that came out of the 80's

Richard Simmons Aerobics videos.



The End

Jo-bros?

I was searching for ideas for a blog post when I came across a prompt that read: 

Write about something you can't believe you used to like. 

That would be the Jonas Brothers. 

A few years ago I was honestly infatuated with Nick Jonas's beautiful curly hair.

I could sing every word of their nasally CD's.

Although you have to admit, some of their songs are pretty catchy, and it's fun to imitate their singing. (I actually think it's physically impossible for me to sing a Jonas Brother song without nasal.) 

You also have to admit that Burning up is a pretty entertaining music video, even though I have no idea what relation it has to the song. 

Another thing that seems weird that I used to like is Disney Channel Original Movies. I'm not talking about the Disney Movies like Aladdin, and Anastasia, those are classics. But the ones that are only played on TV such as Cow Bells, and Camp Rock, those just make me laugh. The stars of Cow Bells (Aly and AJ Michhalka) also make really awkward music videos:

What Type of Gum Chewer Are You?

There are a plethora of ways to annoy people with gum. Gum may be one of the most annoying substances known to man. Everyone has a different style of chewing gum:

1. The Camel. This is when someone opens there mouth widely and chews in a circular, or figure eight motion. It usually makes a disgusting smacking noise as the chew.

2. The Mentally Challenged Horse. When chewing the chewer constantly juts their jaw out to the same side repeatedly. It makes there face take an odd shape the resembles a horse. What makes it look like a mentally challenged horse is when the chewer thrust their tongue to the same side every time as well.

3. The Gum Puller. This is one of the most disgusting. The chewer pulls a strand of gum from their mouth and wraps it around their finger, the pulls even farther creating a long droopy string that is then deposited back in the mouth of the chewer, taking all the lovely germs with them.

4.  The Jack Hammer. This isn't so much disgusting, as it is distracting. The chewer moves their jaw up and down at a lightening speed. It always seems like this person is sitting right at in the corner of you eye, so you can always be distracted by the constant movement.

How Rivalries Evolve

Elementary School:
There is a new girl at school, the teacher's seating chart indicates that she has to sit at your table. You liked you table how it was, you were sitting with the cutest guys in all of fourth grade, but now there is an intrusion. Things go okay at first she seems nice, you all are laughing and having a good time. But then the girl turns nasty, she wants all the attention from the boys, and she starts to say mean things, the boys are seeming to buy it. You can't let them. But then you remember, you are a little girl, and crying is perfectly acceptable. You burst into tears and walk to the teacher, and tell her what the nasty new girl said. The teacher sighs and takes the new girl in the hallway and has a talk with her. You go back to your table where the cute boys are sympathetically waiting for you. They give you big hugs right as the new girl is returning.

Middle School:
The New Girl had moved away, but she came back again. You thought you had gotten rid of her for good, but suddenly your life is a lot more complicated. You avoid her at all costs, you are a week little middle-schooler and confrontation is terrifying. You don't talk to her the entire three years. Even though it's terrible, you silently rejoice when people make fun of her ridiculous platinum blond hair that she most likely dyed herself. When people say it looks like her head is glowing, you are just on top of the world. Finally in eighth grade she moves away again, you praise the lord for your good fortune, and go on with out having to dodge the evil New Girl.

High School:
You walk into class in a new term, and see the New Girl sitting there, right up front. You haven't thought of her in years, now all the anger comes flooding back. She spots you and smiles. You don't know what to do! You can't avoid her any longer. You walk over. She says, "Hey! Do you remember me?" You reply, "Of course I remember you!" trying to keep your voice friendly, it just barely succeeds. You talk for a little while longer, trying to keep the conversation as short as possible. So this is how it's going to be, you think, we're going to be fake friends.

The Egyptian Fish God

His name is Rem. In ancient Egyptian mythology he is known to fertilize the land with his tears. But why is he crying? I've decided to become a hard hitting undercover journalist to find out.
First I typed "Why is Rem crying?" It turns out that some British dude conducted a survey that found the song that makes men cry the most. His results came up with the song Everybody hurts by R.E.M. You can watch this music video here. It such a quinkydink that the group that makes people cry has a name related to the fish that cries! I think ancient Egyptian mythology has had this planned since the beginning. I smell a conspiracy theory!

Dragonfly and Billy Madison

Dragonfly (2002) is listed as a suspense movie. But it scared the poop out of me. Maybe it's because I'm easily scared, but this movie is all about near death experiences and creepy symbols. The main characters dead wife is trying to contact him throughout the movie. I would definitely recommend this movie. It's a movie that both teenagers and adults can enjoy, and my grandma informed me that she thinks Kevin Costner (who plays Dr. Joe Darrow) is very hot, so maybe watch it with your grandma :).


Billy Madison is one of those movies that is always quoted. Maybe most often is "T-t-t-today Junior!" If you haven't seen this movie, do it now, it is hilarious. This is one of my favorite quotes:
Principal: Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. 
Billy Madison: Okay, a simple "wrong" would've done just fine.


Also:
 I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out


3rd Grader: Hey look everybody, Billy peed his pants.
Billy Madison: Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.
3rd Grader: Really?
Billy Madison: YES. You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants.
3rd Grader: Hey look, Ernie peed his pants too. Alright!
Old Farm Lady: If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy Madison: OOH. That was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. Let's Go

How My Mother Would Solve the World's Problems

1. Gaza Strip.

She would march right up to the warring leaders and say "I don't care who started it, but it's mine until you can work this out." Then she would pluck the Gaza strip right from them, and put it on top of the fridge (a very large fridge) so that they could see it, but not touch it. My mother did this with many a Barbie when I was a little girl. 

2. Earthquake in Japan

"I don't care who made the mess, you're all going to clean it up. Who spilled this radioactive iodine! How many times have I told you not to bring that here! You can't do anything else until this is all clean." 

3. To the burners of the Quran and the protesters in Afghanistan. 

Once again "I don't care who started it" (this is a common statement for mothers, and I think it would be a helpful thing in world affairs, because you shouldn't be concern about who started it, more about getting it to stop.) Then she would say "Go to your rooms, and I will come talk to you." The involved parties would wait solemnly in fear. My mother comes in, and explains what they did wrong. She will not leave until they aplogize profusely and sincerely, it can be a long painful process or an easy one. My mother is very good at making people feel guilty, as most mothers are. "It makes me feel worthless when you fight." She'd say. Obviously you don't want to make such a nice woman feel bad, suddenly what you were fighting about doesn't seem so important. The too sides of the argument come out of there rooms and are emotionally burn out, they reluctantly apolgize and hug, then act like nothing happened. 

4. Charlie Sheen

I think my mother could break even him. She'd say "I'm disappointed in you Charlie"

Charlie would say "You shouldn't be, because I'm winning!" 

My mother would shake her head. "You know (insert younger person who means a lot to Charlie here) really looks up to you, and you wouldn't want them doing the same things you did." 

Charlie "Oh my god no! They could never handle the amount of cocaine I took, because I have tiger blood! Maybe I should stop being an asshole!" Ta da! Problem solved.

Gone Viral

In  1989 the following memo was sent out to IBM Engineers:
 
"Mouse balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.
It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items."

This Memo is still circulating today, due to it's obvious sexual innuendos.

The next E-mail gone Viral is The Bill Gates Beta Test,
Here is one version of that Email:

Subject: FW: Microsoft and AOL merger
Date: Fri, 24 Sep 1999
I'm forwarding a forwarded message...read on, it it works you may get $$ from Microsoft. Certainly Bill has enough to share-maybe today we'll be blessed financially!
I am forwarding this because the person who sent it to me is a good friend and does not send me junk. Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet company and in an effort make sure that Internet explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test. When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it (if you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period. For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $5.00, for every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $3.00 and for every third person that receives it, you will be paid $1.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a check. I thought this was a scam myself, but two weeks after receiving this e-mail and forwarding it on, Microsoft contacted me for my e-mail and within days, I received a check for $800.00

This email has been in circulation since 1997. This shows how gullible Americans are. Over 10 years, and this is still around!

The shake weight has also gone viral. Videos like the one below have millions of views, just for the sheer comedy of how it looks when it's used. According to Wikipedia "Infomercial clips of the modified dumbbell have gone viral as a result of the product's comically sexual suggestive nature.^"



My personal favorite Viral ads are the Old Spice commercials.

There are tons of these ads on YouTube, some only a few seconds long, which add to the hilarity. One of the most famous lines from these commercials is "I'm on a horse."

The game Line Rider is one of the most popular internet games to date.

You can play this game at Linerider.com. I remember in middle school this all people did when we had time in the computer lab. Many schools have blocked the game, do to the obvious distraction of students.

The photos entitled "Bert is Evil" have become wildly popular. Look below, and have a chuckle.

Tandem Bikes

http://www.40kradio.com/archives/1135

Tandem bikes seem like a lot of fun.

Or they seem romantic.  

They're not. They're terrifying. My neighbors rented a tandem bike a few years ago, and rode it up to our driveway. They rang our doorbell, and when we opened the door, we were very excited to see this mutant bicycle in our driveway. My neighbor asked me if I wanted to ride on the back of it. I did, and I think I screamed in his ear the entire time. The first thing we did, was roll down our steep drive way, then took a sharp turn to the right onto the road. The bike tipped precariously and righted itself at the last possible moment. My neighbor kept pedaling faster and faster, I had no choice but to hang on and hope for the best. At the end of the road he made another sharp turn to go back up the road. I screamed some more. I yelled "let me off, let me off." He laughed and steered the bike back up the driveway. I leaped off and thanked god for my life. 

Children and Glow Sticks

There were seven children. It was the kind of babysitting job where I was told to put them to bed "when they felt like it" and one parent told me they could play outside, and one told me to keep them inside. There were six boys and a girl, making for a very rowdy bunch. They were jumping on the couch (the very expensive couch, I might add) right in front of their parents, who didn't seem to mind. I sighed, knowing I was in for a long night. When my patience was wearing thin, I found the glow sticks the parent had left for us to play with. I opened the packages, and in a matter of a few seconds all the glow sticks were gone from my hands, the kids rushing off to the basement to play in the dark. One child was in the bathroom when I was being mauled for glow sticks, so he had none. I led him to the basement and asked each child to give him two glow sticks. You think this wouldn't be a big deal because the other children had at least 25 glow sticks, but it was a battle. I had a stare done with many children. Finally the issue was resolved, and 7 glowing children were happily running around the basement. One child had a brilliant idea to combine all their glow sticks and build a huge glowing circle. All the children agreed except one who decided to make his own smaller circle. Soon six of the children were sitting in the large circle. They were taunting the 7th child saying "You can't come into the circle!" I walked by the circle, and one of the children yelled "Don't come in the circle of death or we will kill you!" The other children cheered. I pretended I was going to walk into the circle, taunting them back. As I walked away a child ran from the circle, pulling me towards it. I, being bigger, could still walk away, but then multiple children grabbed on to me and dragged me into the circle of death. I was promptly tackled and sat on. The oldest child his foot on me, and said "I'm king of the world." It was quite an experience. I don't think I've ever been quite so bruised from babysitting.

The Toilet of Despair

I can still see it now, it was a beautiful Sunday in June, we were having a family reunion up at my uncle's cabin. The rain had just cleared making the roads and walkways muddy, and the grass squishy. We didn't mind much because we were dressed to go out on the lake, and play volleyball and soccer. The cabin was beautiful, with a wood burning stove, and overstuffed couches and chairs. I downed a soda, not thinking to look where the bathroom was until my bladder was nearly bursting from the carbonated beverage. I looked all around the cabin, there were no bathrooms, only a small room containing a sink. That's when I realized that the bathroom was outside. It was an outhouse, it's just what I imagined it would look like, you know, just like in the movies, with a little moon shaped piece cut out of the door. I got up my courage and I threw open the door, the stench that hit me was almost unbearable. My uncle saw my face, and made a crack about how it hadn't been cleaned out after his hunting buddies were over. The image that popped into my head was not pleasant. I saw an overweight redneck man sitting on that toilet, grunting to get out of his body whatever was creating that ghastly stench. 

I closed my eyes, and took one more deep breath of fresh air before entering the bathroom. The door closed behind me, and the outhouse was dark, except for a little light that was coming in from the window... that was right next to the toilet. I threw my hands up, and shouted "seriously" forgetting to hold my breath, and breathing in a massive cloud of the stench. I ran gagging out of the bathroom. I called for my sister and asked her to guard the window for me, so no one could invade my privacy. She complied. 

I made my way back into the outhouse, locking the door behind me. I did my business. I looked around for a sink, but only found hand sanitizer. I was devastated, I felt like I needed to shower this stench off of me. As I try to leave the bathroom, I can't find the lock, thus I am trapped inside the outhouse of despair, and I realize that I cannot possibly hold my breath any longer, and I am forced to breath in the stench once again. I am afraid I will get cancer from the stench. Finally I fight my way out of the outhouse, and I run as far away from it as I can get. I collapse in a chair woozy from the experience. From now on I'm sticking to indoor plumbing.  

How to dissolve your writers block

Lately I've been a barren desert of ideas (meaning that I have none, zilch, zero).
So I stumbled upon this storyline generator called Seventh Sanctum. Sure this really doesn't help me much in the blogging field (other than I can write a brief blog post about it), but I still found it quite interesting.
It gives a very vague idea, only the theme, main characters, and main event.
For example:  
 "The theme of this story: dark revenge. The main characters: spendthrift laborer and philosophical rogue. The major event of the story: betrayal"


I can see this story ending up having many trench coats in it, but that's beside the point. I like this website because it gives you just enough information to get the wheels turning, but not enough that there is only one way you can go with it.

Here are a few more examples:

"The theme of this story: metaphorical character study. The main characters: cowardly hermit and courageous king. The start of the story: apocalyptic event. The end of the story: repentance"


(this one made me laugh, I can just imagine the scenarios that would play out in a book such as this)

"The theme of this story: psychological relationship. The main character: fear-ridden hero. The start of the story: apocalyptic event. The end of the story: betrayal"

(I've come to find out that the creator of this website enjoys apocalyptic events)

"The theme of this story: romantic revenge. The main character: wealthy poet. The start of the story: natural disaster. The end of the story: flashback."


(A wealthy poet? That would never happen.)


Another way I have attempted to dissolve my writers block is by taking a leaf out of Anne Dillard's book, and looking at my old journals. Unfortunately my writing is a bit more trivial than Anne Dillard's. You see, I only have a 8 or 10 years full of notebooks, and most of those times I was a little girl who was more concerned about Barbie and my pets (there is a considerable amount of writing about my hamster Gingersnap). Anne Dillard's notebooks are more research and observation oriented, which makes hers infinitely more valuable.

Here is another great website: Click Me! to help you generate some ideas.
It has a list of topics, you just click the general subject area and Voila! there is a list of ideas. This is a lot more helpful for blogs because it has topics such as: body piercings, sign language, gypsies, and more.

Ablutophobia

Most have you have heard of the Broadway play Wicked. I haven't seen it, but the music by Stephen Schwartz is phenomenal. The lyrics and the swells and falls of the music are just amazing, it portrays the emotion of the show perfectly, along with adding a little comedy.
Currently I am reading the book, and it is nothing what you'd expect if you have listen to the music of the show. It has so many deep religious implications, as well as revolutionary ideals. This book shocks you at every turn, and is often very graphic and not suited for younger readers.
The main character is an ablutophobic (which means she fears bathing or washing) because she is allergic to water. This book by Gregory Maguire has weird sexual undertones througout the entire book, it explores the ties between mother and child, and pushes the boundaries on every aspect of life.

Hair Emergency!

Annually, my Grandma hosts a party to bond with her grandchildren, and some various other children that are close with my family. This year it was all girls, so we decided to have a spa weekend. We bought the essentials, nail polish, face masks, chocolate. We also bought some banana's and a cantaloupe, with the intention of blending it up and putting it in our hair to make it soft and shiny. All was going well, I had chopped them into pieces, and thrown them into the blender. My sister pressed the blend button, and the blades broke into pieces. Bye bye blender. So we put the banana's and cantaloupe in the mixer, it created a chunky pulp. We put it in our hair anyway. It looked really gross, but it smelled delicious. We let it sit for about ten minutes, then my cousin stuck her head in the sink while my sister rinsed it out for her. It wouldn't come out. The cantaloupe came out fine, but there were little chunks of banana tangled in her hair. We tried

desperately for 15 minutes to get it out, using loads of shampoo and conditioner. My cousin was soaked all the way down her back, because my sister could not controll the sprayer as she laughed. Eventually everyone took turns taking very long showers, getting most of the banana out. The good thing was it made our very soft. But we still had little chunks of banana in our hair. Luckly they all came out after the second shower. It certainly was an adventure.

What can you buy on the internet for a dollar (or less)?

Well this is an interesting question, let us first run to eBay.
So I had to search something, so I just typed in the letter P.
Then I clicked on the tab that said Buy it Now, so I could see things that weren't being auctioned off. Then I sorted the prices from lowest to highest (included shipping). The very first entry was a stamp, for 99 cents. But it's not just any stamp, it's a green stamp, with a tree on it, from china!

A few entries down there is something listed as

"Reusable Handbag Shopping Tote New Kitty Bag purple-p" 

It's a purple hello kitty bag, 99 cents, I'm buying it. Okay I just bought it. I'm excited. 

You can also buy digital images of fighter planes for 99 cents. Isn't that super exciting. 

Hold on, I'm going to diverge from my original topic for a second to see if I can buy a grandma, because yesterday someone told me a little girl tried to sell her grandma on eBay. 

Darn no grandmas, just a bunch of recipes, and jewelry.  

Anyway, back on track. OOO look a yugioh card for a dollar! I remember when I tried to learn how to play yugioh, I got bored.

Now let's look at target. The only thing I could find for a dollar was a beach ball, and that doesn't include shipping like eBay does. That's disappointing.

How about walmart,  Nothing worth mentioning.

If You Peak into My House You May Find Me Yelling at My Computer

Recently I discovered a dictation software that I did not know existed on my computer. I found a tutorial and began to explore the wonders of saying something, and it appearing on the screen. Well, the tutorial was extremely long, and I have a short attention span, so I closed it before it was over. I figured I knew the basics and could figure out the rest. So I opened my word processor, and began saying things to my computer. It didn't type anything. So I said it louder. Still nothing. So I yelled "work you stupid thing" to my joy and surprise the words "Work thing" magically appeared across my screen.

I said "That's not what I said, but okay" on the screen the words "pancake said butter" appeared. "Arggg" I yelled. With a soft booping sound a message popped up on my screen that said "That word is not recognized, practice with the voice training program to make your computer understand you better." (or something along those lines) I clicked on the link, and began reading the words on the screen as my computer instructed me.

I was reading a story about a man who enjoyed using his dictator. My sister knocked on my door, then barged in my room. "Who are you yelling at?!" she asked. I explained to her what I was doing and let her play with it. I left the room, and I could hear her yelling "dog poop" from across the house. Oh how I love Microsoft Windows Dictator

Sleepless nights

I just finished reading the newest blog post on Hyperbole and a Half. It was entitled The Scariest Story, I encourage you to read it, it's really comical. It got me thinking of my own childhood nightmares, and I thought share the cause of some of them to you.

Possibly the most frightening experience of my life happened one October when I was about eight years old. My aunt had taken my sister (who was 6 at the time) and me, along with some of her friends children to what she thought was a hayride. When we got there we found out that the hayride was in fact next weekend, and that the haunted cornfield was scheduled for that night. My sister was a huge fan of scary stories, so she insisted that we do the haunted cornfield, since we were there already. I agreed, because I didn't want to be a party pooper. The other girls we were with weren't to excited about it, but they agreed as well. We waited in line for a half an hour. We finally got to the corn maze, and walked about 6 feet in, there was a wire that shocked people as you walked by. The older girls, and the adults in our thought it was funny, but my sister and I, begin considerably smaller than everyone else thought the shock was kind of painful. This was not of too a good start. We walked a few more feet and someone jumped out, it scared me, but not as much as the girl who was about 12. She screamed and started freaking out. It was relativly quite for a while, except for the occasional nerve wracking rustle of the corn leaves. Suddenly someone with a running chain saw ran across the opening. There was a lot of screaming, and I was honestly concerned with my saftey, I mean, what if he tripped!? A few more things happened, and our whole group was terrified, but somewhat enjoying ourselves. Until my sister's ankle was grabbed. A hand shot out from corn field and latched on to her, the owner of the hand did not realize the owner of the ankle was a six year old, and pulled with too much force. My sister tumbled to the ground, not quite catching herself with her hands. She started bawling, the owner of the hand came out of the cornfield to apologize. You can imagine how that went over, when a grusemly clad, tall man comes at a hysterical six year old. She screamed bloody murder and leaped in to my aunts arms. This was suddenly not fun anymore. The rest of our group went ahead, and my aunt tried to find a way out, we decided to go forward, because we figured the maze couldn't be that much longer. We were wrong. It was so much longer. Luckily we found someone who was normally dressed who could take us out on a short cut. My aunt brought us hot choclate to calm us down.

 My parents were not happy when we got home, because we both slept on their bedroom floor for the next few nights.

Most haunted houses, and corn mazes don't allow the employes to touch people who come by anymore. I can understand why.

I Don't Let People Win

Some children have everything handed to them, their parents baby them through every game of Candyland, let them win at Go Fish, purposefully miss shots when playing basketball. This may seem harmless to you but it's bad parenting. Children don't learn how to get things on their own.
I know a boy who is about twelve years old now, I've had the 'pleasure' of spending a lot of time with him. His parents always let him win. So when he plays games with my family he always throws a huge tantrum. Someone will knock one of his piece out it Sorry, and he'll throw his pieces and yell "I wanted to win" and burst into tears. His parents will quickly scoop up the pieces and say "it's okay honey, you can still d win, the game's not over." I am not one to appease such behavior. His parents say, "I bet Madge will let you put your piece back where it was." I make a psssh sound and say "No I won't." (With tons of attitude of course). Usually this leads to him running into a different room and screaming.
When I was little, it was very seldom that I won things, my parents always did there best to win, and I believe it has taught me a lot. I developed the skills I needed to win, and good sportsmanship. I probably wouldn't have won anything if the games we played hadn't involved luck. To this day, I still haven't been able to fairly beat my dad at chess, since he taught me how to play a few years ago, but I can beat a few other people, because every time I play him, I get better.
The boy a mentioned earlier, he's not good at anything, because he never works toward anything. A bunch of adults were playing volleyball, and he begged to play, after much pestering they finally allowed him. The first time the ball came toward him, he missed the bump. He picked up the ball and threw it in the face of one of the adults on his team, he started screaming at them about how he wanted to hit the ball that time, like it was there fault he missed. He proceeded to lie on the ground and scream and ball for a few minutes halting the game.
This boy will never be successful in life, he will get to college, and instead of studying, he will throw a tantrum when he gets his test scores back. The same for job interviews. Throwing a tantrum at that age seems kind of unlikely, but this boy is twelve and still throwing tantrums. I don't know very many twelve year olds that would cry and scream in front of a bunch of people. There is very little hope for him.

Squish Fish

I am blessed to have a sister who is allergic to pretty much every animal. I can't have a puppy, or a cat (but honestly who wants a cat), I had a hamster for awhile, but she was allergic to that too. I had some pet turtles, but they have salmonella. So now I have two fish. I love my fish. There official names are Nanners and Polka, but they rarely get called that. Nanners is most frequently called squish fish, and occasionally stud muffin. Polka is most often called poop sucker, and some other names I shouldn't put on the internet.
My fish can do flips. I have the best fish in the world. If there were fish shows, mine would win. He can jump so high, he had flipped out of his bowl on several occasions, and I have had to grab his wiggling body and toss him back in the water (which is no easy feat) he is a very large and healthy fish.
My whole family treats my fish like a dog, on any given day you can find a member of my family staring into my fish bowl saying "you're a stud" and "you're so cute" repeatedly. One of these days I'm post of a video of my amazing flipping fish. I'm convinced he's part dolphin. He even smiles like a dolphin. Okay, enough about my fish. The end

Cold Remedies

It only seems appropriate, since I've been coughing up a storm this week, and can barely keep my eyes open from exhaustion. I've heard the normal remedies, drink lots of fluids, get lots of rest, but I'm interested in the more unusual remedies.
For instance, there has been a recent study on Zinc supplements, they are known to reduce the duration of a cold by about a day, which sounds lovely to me right now. Apparently it's not really certain how these work, or whether they have bad side effects after long term use, but I'm willing to try them, I'm tired of being sick (although I'm too lazy to go out and buy some). Also people have reported that the supplements have made them lose their sense of smell. Oh well, smelling isn't that great anyway.
One remedy I found seems highly unpleasant:
" Pour a little warm water into a dish and add a level teaspoon of your sodium bicarbonate. Stir it well and then immerse your nose and surrounding parts of your face into it. Slowly breathe the water up your nose until it reaches the point where it begins to overflow into your mouth. Then expel it and rinse your mouth out."

I'm sorry but I'm not willing to have the contents of my nose in my mouth. I'll have to pass.

The best advice I found on the Internet was here. Basically it tells you to get of your lazy butt and get some exercise.

Wowzers!

Amazing Dance!
I assumed that you've just clicked on the link above and just watched a video of some highly talented dancers. I just wanted to share this with you, and commend this kind of talent. I cannot imagine the time that must have been put in to clean all those quick moves. I really don't have much to say about it, I'm just in awe right now!

Wizard of Oz

"A few days a go, in my AP Lang class, we discussed an argument know as the straw man, (for those of you not familiar with the straw man, basically it's an argument that you make up a stance to argue against because they don't have the capacity to fight back), but ever since we've discussed this I've been seeing tons of examples of this.

For example, we have three show choirs at our school, a freshmen group, a prep, and a varsity. One girl, we'll call her Cake, was discussing show choir with someone who is not in show choir, we'll call him chip (I'm hungry if you can't tell). Anyway, well chip says "It's seems like you guys (as in the people in varsity show choir) are really mean to the prep group." Cake automatically gets defensive (even though she was totally just trashing a few specific people in the prep group) and says "No we're not, they just all think they're better than us!" So here's where the straw man comes in, "Everyone in the prep group says that they're going to beat the varsity, *blah, blah, blah* *mean, low blow about someone, etc*" First of all, saying 'everyone' can not possibly be true, you cannot sum up the views of an entire, diverse group of people with one statement. Second of all, since when has ANYONE said that. I would say, in general, our three show choirs get along pretty well, we support each other and cheer our loudest, and hope for them to win.

Another example, many commercials use the straw man, using the statement "Other *insert type of product here* don't have *insert special feature here*" What do you mean by other, how do you know they don't have that special ingredient? Did you illegally high-jack their recipe? Didn't think so.

It's weird how when someone points something out to you, that's all you see.

Like on Glee, when they introduced Sam, Finn made a comment about the largeness of his mouth, and now that's all I can see. (it's okay though I think his large mouth looks good on him)

Moment 4 life

Yes, the new Nicki Minaj video is out. It was way under my expectations, which means it's especially terrible, because my expectations weren't that high in the first place. First of all, the name. Ick. I hate when people don't use complete sentences when texting, but I find it even more annoying in titles. Anyway, the first few minutes is just Nicki awkwardly talking to her fairy godmother, it is terrible acting, and if I wasn't going to write a review on it, I would have quit watching it then. When the music starts I am very relieved only to be disappointed by the terrible rapping, the atrocious lyrics, and the awkward strutting/dancing. I stopped watching this video at three minutes and twenty-eight seconds. I couldn't bear any more of it. It just makes me sad to see what the music industry has gotten to.
Where are the good old days, with Men at Work, and Elton John, Billy Joel, and the Everly Brothers!

I don't enjoy butt cracks

wearabelt.com, I enjoy belts. They keep your pants up, and I can avoid looking at the flesh between your lower back and your thighs. 

Wear A Belt! Wear it at an appropriate level, usually somewhere above you're butt, and below you're natural waist. Belts should not be used to hold your pants up around your knees, as much as you would like us to believe, your legs are not a foot long, and your torso is not four and a half feet long. Respect the belt. Do not sit cross-legged, or squat, or do any sort of bending at all while not wearing a belt. Belts should not be worn as necklaces (crazy as it seems I've seen this), wearing a belt around your neck is a very easy way to be strangled, if someone just pulls on the end of it, you're dead. You're just asking to be mugged. Do not take your belt of in public, and definitely do not whip unsuspecting and innocent strangers with it. It's painful, and angering, you will most likely make enemies. Do not wear belts around you're biceps, I will assume you are about to shoot up. Wear a belt that fits, I do not enjoy muffin tops resulting from belts that are too tight. On the other hand, a belt that is too big defeats the purpose. 

Carbon Rally!

Carbonrally.com is a website that gives you creative (and easy) ideas to help you reduce your carbon footprint. It brings a competitive edge to the challenge by having you form teams and compete to be the team who reduced the most carbon. Groups such as colleges or companies create teams and compete against each other for a little friendly competition for a great cause.
You can also suggest challenges, and people vote for the best challenges, and if you're lucky you're challenge will become official.
I really appreciate the message this website is sending. It's easy and fun to go green! Even just the littlest things you do can help, and save money. Also being web based makes it very accessible, a lot of people wouldn't bother because it's too much work to find ideas on their own, and they don't get any recognition for it.

The man on the treadmill

So I'm at the gym, running on the treadmill, I'm going pretty fast, and blasting my music, so I'm not really aware of what's going on around me, but I see out of the corner of my eye that there is someone walking on to the treadmill next to me. This kind of irritates me, because there are plenty of treadmills empty, and he had to chose the one right next to me. I brush away my irritation and focus again, but over my music I can hear the obnoxious sound of the treadmill inclining. I still don't fully look at the man next to me, but I can see that he is wearing big blocky tennis shoes (I'm talking eighties tennis shoes) and has very hairy legs. I run a few minutes more when I hear a loud crinkling sound, and I look over at the man, and it's Richard Simmons eating trail mix. I mean this guy seriously looked like Richard Simmons. He was short and thick, he was wearing shorts too short for a man, especially for his age, and a tight under-armor shirt that his belly stuck out of just the slightest bit, and on top of his head was a curly brown afro. What really made him look like Richard Simmons is that he had a huge smile on his face as he was power walking.

Attention Hogs

I like attention just as much as the next person, but some people can't step back and let others be in the lime light for awhile. 

For Example, two friends of mine were doing an impromptu performance of Michael Jackson's Thriller. They knew all the moves and everyone had created  a circle around them and were cheering them on. One girl, who had previously had a bunch of people watching her for numerous songs decided she wanted to try to get all the attention, she obviously didn't know all the moves, but that wasn't going to stop her. Apparently she wasn't able to give up three or four minutes of attention. 

Well anyway, my friends rocked it, and the other girl gave up trying to get attention by the end. I might add that what she was doing looked like she was having a seizure or humping the air. Which doesn't really deserve a lot of attention, (unless you are actually having a seizure, then you probably need medical attention.)

It was great seeing my friends get the attention they deserve, because they are pretty amazing. :)

Susan Sontag

I'm one of those weird people who get really into school projects, when I start reading about someone and hear of all the amazing things they've done, and all the tough things they've overcome, I just can't stop reading about them. For Example, there is Jane Adams, who founded the Hull House, she is truly an inspiration to me she spent  her whole life and all her money dedicated to helping the less fortunate. She allowed people to stay in her Hull House, she  took care of children so there parents could go out and make a living, she taught english to immigrants to make it easier for them to move up in the world, etc.
My recent obsession, if you want to call it so, is Susan Sontag. At first I was very frustrated with her, because I began reading her essay on camp, and it went completely over my head. But then I checked out her personal journals from the library, and I just can't wrap my head around what a complete genius she is. The beginning of the journal was written when she was around my age, and the deep philosophical entries just blow my mind. Even at 16 she had such a grasp on life and her intellect that some adults never achieve. Her struggles with being a  lesbian humanize her so much more, when I read her essay on camp she seemed like this high and mighty looming being that I couldn't place, but now I know more about her I feel that I can understand her writing so much more.
I began to research her on the internet, and found some youtube videos about her. One particular video made me admire her even more, for her sarcasm with a condescending man who obviously doesn't even have half the intellect that she does.

Foreigner

For christmas I received a record player (thanks mom and dad!) I was ecstatic because I have 98 records that I have previously not been able to listen to. The first one I played was Michael Jackson's Thriller. My family and I listen to a few songs on a bunch of different records and that is when I discovered Foreigner. They're quickly becoming my favorite group. They have such a distinctive sound, which I love, and their transitions from verse to chorus are so powerful, it has just the perfect amount of build. The energy in every song is refreshing, the clarity in the vocals and instrumentals are amazing, especially coming from a time when music was a lot less doctored, and when people with actual talent were famous.
Lou Gramm's vocals have the perfect tenor rock tone, added with Rick Wills and Mick Jones's background harmonies is just too good to be true.
Dennis Elliott is pretty much a drumming genius, a lot of drummers get too cocky and like to be the center of attention, but he blends so nicely, and gives every song that necessary pulse.
Mick Jones plays the lead guitar and keyboards, I just love when people are multi talented.
Rick Wills is probably my favorite bassist, he adds bends and a little 'funk' to every song.

Birds falling from the sky

A friend of mine informed me that birds have been falling from the sky, and that the world was going to end.
She asked, "Mr.B why are the birds falling from the sky." Mr.B thought this was a strange question, until she explained that around 1,000 birds were falling from the sky in Arkansas, According to Aol News, the death of the birds could have been caused from fire works that stress the birds out and cause them to die.

I have a couple of theories, mostly provided by Mr.B and my friend.

1. The world is ending. Maybe there is a slow moving gas that is creeping in from the sky, and will eventually kill all living things, those birds were flying a little too high, and ran into the destructive cloud.

2. The government is testing small scale bombs, and the birds happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

3. Because the birds are from America it would be reasonable to assume that they were overweight and all died from heart disease at the same time. Or diabetes that works too.

4. A homeless guy found a genie with a sense of humor. The homeless guy asked for food, and the genie made birds fall from the sky. Dig in homeless guy.

5. A homeless guy found a grumpy genie. The homeless guy wanted a pet bird for company. The genie said, "Here, take some dead birds" and bombarded the homeless man with birds.

6. A five year old with rich parents wanted to fly. So his parents hired 12 people to catch 1,000 birds and tie them together. The very plump five year old rode around on these birds for 15 minutes before losing interest. The bird were released and later died from exhaustion.

7. The birds partied too hard on New Year's Eve.

8. The were electrocuted when sitting on the power lines.

9. They were hit by a hot air ballon

10. Flew too close to the sun, they received a nasty case of sun burn, then skin cancer, then died from cancer.