It's pure chaos, but it's all pink chaos so it's okay

In February, during fashion week, Barbie's 50th anniversary was celebrated with a Barbie Fashion show. You just have to see some of these outfits, they're pretty hilarious. I think one of the best experiences would have to be a fashion designer, because you can slap pretty much anything on someone, and people will clap and say "Oh isn't that lovely."



This is one of the outfits that best represents Barbie in my opinion. This is what all my Barbies' hair looked like when I was a kid after they were thrown in a bucket for awhile, although they were considerably more bald.



I don't think Barbie would wear this outfit, or make that face, Barbie smiles...all the time.



This is so Barbie!

My favorite part of the whole fashion show was the future Barbie look. This is because the designers decided to put a bunch of random plastic on the clothing. I guess in the future Barbie doesn't like cotton or polyester anymore!

My actual favorite part was when they let all the little girl walk down the catwalk with the big Barbies, I know if I was still a little girl that be the most exciting thing of my life!

So I was searching through some random blogs...

I came across a blog that was in Filipino, of course, I couldn't read it, but Google kindly asked me if I would like it translated, I reply, "Why, yes, I would love this translated, thank you very much." So I click the translate button, and I began reading the article, it's about spring. I can understand mostly what she's saying, but Google missed a few words, so I was a little lost, a few sentences in I look at the title of the blog, and it translates to English Cow. I'm not really sure what that's supposed to mean, but it made me chuckle, so I thought I'd share it.

Apparently there are a lot of Filipino bloggers on blogspot, because I found a blog full of filipino poetry entitled Probably. Once again Google doesn't translate very well, but poetry doesn't have to make sense, I read something about blue apples, and I'm okay with that.

I also found a very colorful blog called The (After) Life of the Party. I wish I could blog like this. I mean not like the swearing, but I wish I was funny, or I could just think of something worthwhile to blog about. People always tell me that I'm a creative person, and I might have believed them, if it wasn't that every time I try to blog I come up completely blank.

My Life as a Janitor

Before I had my extremely glamorous job as an intern, I worked as janitor. We all have to start somewhere. By myself, I comprised the entire cleaning staff for a Tool and Die shop. It was a large job considering the mess the large machinery makes (and the mess that 40 men make), but somehow I got it done. One day I decided to clean the walls and the floors of the larger bathroom (you would not believe the level of dirt and grease on those walls). It was one of those hot July days when it's so humid that your chest feels heavy, you know the kind. It was also a day when the shop air conditioning decided to stop working. Those big machines create a lot of heat, but it wasn't too terrible for me, because most of the time I was working in the direct path of the fan. So it's time for me to clean the bathroom, and I have some extra time, so I decide to scrub the walls and floors. So I drag a bucket full of soapy water, and a ladder (I'm really short). I begin to scrub, and about two strokes in, I realize that this is probably the hottest room in the whole building. Also the grease isn't coming off that easy, (how someone managed to get grease in the top corner of the room is a mystery to me), so i decide to put a little bleach in my soapy water. The grease came off a lot easier, but now the room, besides being hot, was filled with bleach fumes. That was probably not one of my smartest ideas, but the moral of the story kids, is get a good education.

Acquisitive: Excessively interested in acquiring money or material things.

This is a new word I learned today, and it got me thinking about my life. I thought I'd share this word with you, and maybe you'll think about your life. I guess humans in general are acquisitive, and it needs to stop. It takes a very strong human to be happy with what they already have, we are always trying to move up in our jobs and get higher education, which isn't a bad thing, but why are we doing it? Is it because we want more things, and more money? Probably, but that's not what it should be about, it should be about the love of knowledge, and being good at what you do. I know that you may read this and say "that's not me" or you will say "that is me" and not do anything about it.
 But I challenge you to stop worrying about the latest thing that apple is coming out with, stop worrying that your neighbor has a nicer car than you, and began to thing about making yourself truly happy. I'm sure you have some nieces and nephews, or younger cousins, or even children that would love to spend some time with you and brighten your day.
I challenge you to get rid of some things that really don't mean that much to you.
I challenge you to rededicate your life to something you love.

Mystery Seeker

This is the new version of Mystery Google. Check it out here. It's really quite interesting, you type in a search and the search engine returns the last persons search to you. Often people leave missions (usually MLIAers), they like to have fun things sent to e-mail addresses and send you out to do some random thing. I would not advise sharing personal information through Mystery Seeker, obviously, but I definitely encourage trying it.

One Mission I received: Search for a Ninja School in Google and enroll in one. Goodluck Comrade.
Unfortunately, Ninja's are to stealthy to have their school be listed on Google, so I could not complete this mission as requested.

Another search result I got was: i hate justin bieber SUCK ON THAT
No I would not like to suck on that, thanks for offering though. I don't understand why people hate Justin Bieber so much, he's not an evil person, and hasn't done anything worth hating, but whatever, it's your hate filled life.

I also got a search that said: I love you
Aww now isn't that sweet. I think Mystery seeker makes the world a better place!

I want to live in the 80's

Who wouldn't want to dress like this all the time! The eighties was a time when anything was exceptable. One day you can be wearing a pink tutu, and the next oversized unisex, one size fits all clothing.

Find more 80's trends here!

If you don't like super large clothing maybe some extra extra large earrings will float your boat.



But what makes the 80's truely awesome, is the rise of Micheal Jackson. 

Thriller was released in 1983. The music video was 14 minutes long. Jackson was known for wanting his music videos to be more like short movies. He is often credited with creating the modern day music video, because before Jackson it was typical to just stand and sing in a music video.

I remember the first time I watched Thriller. That was when I most wanted to go back to the eighties. I wanted to meet the young Micheal Jackson. It was also the scariest thing I'd ever seen, (I was in elementary school give me a break), I used to have friends over to watch it and scream.

The eighties also marked the rise of the Rubix cube. I still cannot solve one. But that only makes me hate the eighties a little. If you know how to solve a Rubix cube you can have hours of fun flaunting it in other people's faces and watching the jealousy in their eyes.

Possibly the best cartoon ever invented was popular in the eighties. Those little blue guys, that my grandpa always called smores. Yes the SMURFS. I enjoy this show even in my old age. Although I never understood why that evil old man and his cat had it in for the smurfs.

Besides being a wonderful example of friendship and sharing and all things good, the smurfs are also wonderful singers. I own one of there records, and it also helps me learn about sharing. With songs like "Silly Shy Smurf" and "The Clapping and Jumping Song" I can jam out all day to the wonderful smurf voices.

To close my extremely random blog post I'd like to show you the best thing that came out of the 80's

Richard Simmons Aerobics videos.



The End

Jo-bros?

I was searching for ideas for a blog post when I came across a prompt that read: 

Write about something you can't believe you used to like. 

That would be the Jonas Brothers. 

A few years ago I was honestly infatuated with Nick Jonas's beautiful curly hair.

I could sing every word of their nasally CD's.

Although you have to admit, some of their songs are pretty catchy, and it's fun to imitate their singing. (I actually think it's physically impossible for me to sing a Jonas Brother song without nasal.) 

You also have to admit that Burning up is a pretty entertaining music video, even though I have no idea what relation it has to the song. 

Another thing that seems weird that I used to like is Disney Channel Original Movies. I'm not talking about the Disney Movies like Aladdin, and Anastasia, those are classics. But the ones that are only played on TV such as Cow Bells, and Camp Rock, those just make me laugh. The stars of Cow Bells (Aly and AJ Michhalka) also make really awkward music videos:

What Type of Gum Chewer Are You?

There are a plethora of ways to annoy people with gum. Gum may be one of the most annoying substances known to man. Everyone has a different style of chewing gum:

1. The Camel. This is when someone opens there mouth widely and chews in a circular, or figure eight motion. It usually makes a disgusting smacking noise as the chew.

2. The Mentally Challenged Horse. When chewing the chewer constantly juts their jaw out to the same side repeatedly. It makes there face take an odd shape the resembles a horse. What makes it look like a mentally challenged horse is when the chewer thrust their tongue to the same side every time as well.

3. The Gum Puller. This is one of the most disgusting. The chewer pulls a strand of gum from their mouth and wraps it around their finger, the pulls even farther creating a long droopy string that is then deposited back in the mouth of the chewer, taking all the lovely germs with them.

4.  The Jack Hammer. This isn't so much disgusting, as it is distracting. The chewer moves their jaw up and down at a lightening speed. It always seems like this person is sitting right at in the corner of you eye, so you can always be distracted by the constant movement.

How Rivalries Evolve

Elementary School:
There is a new girl at school, the teacher's seating chart indicates that she has to sit at your table. You liked you table how it was, you were sitting with the cutest guys in all of fourth grade, but now there is an intrusion. Things go okay at first she seems nice, you all are laughing and having a good time. But then the girl turns nasty, she wants all the attention from the boys, and she starts to say mean things, the boys are seeming to buy it. You can't let them. But then you remember, you are a little girl, and crying is perfectly acceptable. You burst into tears and walk to the teacher, and tell her what the nasty new girl said. The teacher sighs and takes the new girl in the hallway and has a talk with her. You go back to your table where the cute boys are sympathetically waiting for you. They give you big hugs right as the new girl is returning.

Middle School:
The New Girl had moved away, but she came back again. You thought you had gotten rid of her for good, but suddenly your life is a lot more complicated. You avoid her at all costs, you are a week little middle-schooler and confrontation is terrifying. You don't talk to her the entire three years. Even though it's terrible, you silently rejoice when people make fun of her ridiculous platinum blond hair that she most likely dyed herself. When people say it looks like her head is glowing, you are just on top of the world. Finally in eighth grade she moves away again, you praise the lord for your good fortune, and go on with out having to dodge the evil New Girl.

High School:
You walk into class in a new term, and see the New Girl sitting there, right up front. You haven't thought of her in years, now all the anger comes flooding back. She spots you and smiles. You don't know what to do! You can't avoid her any longer. You walk over. She says, "Hey! Do you remember me?" You reply, "Of course I remember you!" trying to keep your voice friendly, it just barely succeeds. You talk for a little while longer, trying to keep the conversation as short as possible. So this is how it's going to be, you think, we're going to be fake friends.

The Egyptian Fish God

His name is Rem. In ancient Egyptian mythology he is known to fertilize the land with his tears. But why is he crying? I've decided to become a hard hitting undercover journalist to find out.
First I typed "Why is Rem crying?" It turns out that some British dude conducted a survey that found the song that makes men cry the most. His results came up with the song Everybody hurts by R.E.M. You can watch this music video here. It such a quinkydink that the group that makes people cry has a name related to the fish that cries! I think ancient Egyptian mythology has had this planned since the beginning. I smell a conspiracy theory!

Dragonfly and Billy Madison

Dragonfly (2002) is listed as a suspense movie. But it scared the poop out of me. Maybe it's because I'm easily scared, but this movie is all about near death experiences and creepy symbols. The main characters dead wife is trying to contact him throughout the movie. I would definitely recommend this movie. It's a movie that both teenagers and adults can enjoy, and my grandma informed me that she thinks Kevin Costner (who plays Dr. Joe Darrow) is very hot, so maybe watch it with your grandma :).


Billy Madison is one of those movies that is always quoted. Maybe most often is "T-t-t-today Junior!" If you haven't seen this movie, do it now, it is hilarious. This is one of my favorite quotes:
Principal: Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. 
Billy Madison: Okay, a simple "wrong" would've done just fine.


Also:
 I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out


3rd Grader: Hey look everybody, Billy peed his pants.
Billy Madison: Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.
3rd Grader: Really?
Billy Madison: YES. You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants.
3rd Grader: Hey look, Ernie peed his pants too. Alright!
Old Farm Lady: If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy Madison: OOH. That was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. Let's Go

How My Mother Would Solve the World's Problems

1. Gaza Strip.

She would march right up to the warring leaders and say "I don't care who started it, but it's mine until you can work this out." Then she would pluck the Gaza strip right from them, and put it on top of the fridge (a very large fridge) so that they could see it, but not touch it. My mother did this with many a Barbie when I was a little girl. 

2. Earthquake in Japan

"I don't care who made the mess, you're all going to clean it up. Who spilled this radioactive iodine! How many times have I told you not to bring that here! You can't do anything else until this is all clean." 

3. To the burners of the Quran and the protesters in Afghanistan. 

Once again "I don't care who started it" (this is a common statement for mothers, and I think it would be a helpful thing in world affairs, because you shouldn't be concern about who started it, more about getting it to stop.) Then she would say "Go to your rooms, and I will come talk to you." The involved parties would wait solemnly in fear. My mother comes in, and explains what they did wrong. She will not leave until they aplogize profusely and sincerely, it can be a long painful process or an easy one. My mother is very good at making people feel guilty, as most mothers are. "It makes me feel worthless when you fight." She'd say. Obviously you don't want to make such a nice woman feel bad, suddenly what you were fighting about doesn't seem so important. The too sides of the argument come out of there rooms and are emotionally burn out, they reluctantly apolgize and hug, then act like nothing happened. 

4. Charlie Sheen

I think my mother could break even him. She'd say "I'm disappointed in you Charlie"

Charlie would say "You shouldn't be, because I'm winning!" 

My mother would shake her head. "You know (insert younger person who means a lot to Charlie here) really looks up to you, and you wouldn't want them doing the same things you did." 

Charlie "Oh my god no! They could never handle the amount of cocaine I took, because I have tiger blood! Maybe I should stop being an asshole!" Ta da! Problem solved.